Unexplainable.Thoughts.♥

Each time i see myself in reflecting against the reflection in the mirror.
The person that is staring back at me is someone whos full of flaws. On her face and in her personality. Those dark circles ,those eyebags,those pimples.they start to haunt me everyday.at times i almost give all my energy to them from thinking of it.

My appearance is maybe deteorating and i feel you deserve so much better.
Then i remembered and i thought to myself what if the flaws thats shown in each person actually represents the number of hardships someone has to go through all the hardship shithell crap life ask the person to go through? 
It amaze me how everything in life is so pressurizing so depressionning but so amazing and sweet. 

Im hurt im broken but what does it matter cause in the end. Changes will happen.life is just that way isnt it? One day youre so cold and the next well. View Larger

Each time i see myself in reflecting against the reflection in the mirror.
The person that is staring back at me is someone whos full of flaws. On her face and in her personality. Those dark circles ,those eyebags,those pimples.they start to haunt me everyday.at times i almost give all my energy to them from thinking of it.

My appearance is maybe deteorating and i feel you deserve so much better.
Then i remembered and i thought to myself what if the flaws thats shown in each person actually represents the number of hardships someone has to go through all the hardship shithell crap life ask the person to go through?
It amaze me how everything in life is so pressurizing so depressionning but so amazing and sweet.

Im hurt im broken but what does it matter cause in the end. Changes will happen.life is just that way isnt it? One day youre so cold and the next well.


Thankyou for being my strength these past few days dearest😘


Its 15.
Many often of times i did the same thing and you would always laugh about it.but that day on that day it was different i was high on the after-atmosphere of movie marathon with yanty and the guys in my class. The sudden bad news makes me wantbto be beside you so badly. So i do what we have always done , i connect the words to song lyrics thinking youd laugh it off and be happy . Cause whenever im down you did that and i laughed and smile about it. But maybe it was the after effects of your problem thats bothering you that make you say those words that makes me feel like im annoying you up till now. And the pain ive felt just turn around and make me say those words to you. Now.no matter how many times i feel like taking a step to communicate i feel like its all went cold. The pain slowly kills me to know that im choked up that youre all okay. Maybe you were just stronger.maybe you are hurt too. But the least was just to reply and let me know that youre there.


Fathers day 
The day where i need you the most. Cause you know youre the strength to my weakness. Its been years simce i last saw him or felt the familiar rough hands hugging me while kissing me on the cheek and asking me how am i each time i see him. I dont know where he is or what is going on with him. Another painful note is that he doesnt keep his words or promises that he made to me. It hurts to know he is not finding me not missing me like how im finding him and missing him. These things are never easy and i have always tried my best to keep everything going with a smile up till yesterday where the tears fall. And i dont even know till i feel them trickling down my cheeks telling me reminding me that im still in pain. 

The worst thing both are not here.

Alhamdulillah i still have dearest to keep me gaining my strength .shes going through her own pain as well but she knows how much it hurts even more to keep it in all alone or stay all alone and those thoughts coming in. So we helped each other. She will come over and we keep each other mind busy and if we ever do cry we know theres someone beside to be there.and just listen and tell you that everything will be alright. Cause sometimes theost cliche and simplest words in life is the most nicest comfort words to hear at times like this. View Larger

Thankyou for being my strength these past few days dearest😘


Its 15.
Many often of times i did the same thing and you would always laugh about it.but that day on that day it was different i was high on the after-atmosphere of movie marathon with yanty and the guys in my class. The sudden bad news makes me wantbto be beside you so badly. So i do what we have always done , i connect the words to song lyrics thinking youd laugh it off and be happy . Cause whenever im down you did that and i laughed and smile about it. But maybe it was the after effects of your problem thats bothering you that make you say those words that makes me feel like im annoying you up till now. And the pain ive felt just turn around and make me say those words to you. Now.no matter how many times i feel like taking a step to communicate i feel like its all went cold. The pain slowly kills me to know that im choked up that youre all okay. Maybe you were just stronger.maybe you are hurt too. But the least was just to reply and let me know that youre there.


Fathers day
The day where i need you the most. Cause you know youre the strength to my weakness. Its been years simce i last saw him or felt the familiar rough hands hugging me while kissing me on the cheek and asking me how am i each time i see him. I dont know where he is or what is going on with him. Another painful note is that he doesnt keep his words or promises that he made to me. It hurts to know he is not finding me not missing me like how im finding him and missing him. These things are never easy and i have always tried my best to keep everything going with a smile up till yesterday where the tears fall. And i dont even know till i feel them trickling down my cheeks telling me reminding me that im still in pain.

The worst thing both are not here.

Alhamdulillah i still have dearest to keep me gaining my strength .shes going through her own pain as well but she knows how much it hurts even more to keep it in all alone or stay all alone and those thoughts coming in. So we helped each other. She will come over and we keep each other mind busy and if we ever do cry we know theres someone beside to be there.and just listen and tell you that everything will be alright. Cause sometimes theost cliche and simplest words in life is the most nicest comfort words to hear at times like this.


24.05.14
‘I know @merissasiew is gonna curse me for doing this haha but one picture is just neverenough to post.  I love being with these two pretty ladies cause its when you can be comfortable with them and they still love you if youre weird & you pour out yourhearts to them because even if they dont understand they will try theirbest because you matter to them. My love for you two are infinite♥strong as steel hehe🌟🌟✌✌✊’ View Larger

24.05.14
‘I know @merissasiew is gonna curse me for doing this haha but one picture is just neverenough to post. I love being with these two pretty ladies cause its when you can be comfortable with them and they still love you if youre weird & you pour out yourhearts to them because even if they dont understand they will try theirbest because you matter to them. My love for you two are infinite♥strong as steel hehe🌟🌟✌✌✊’


18.05.14
‘-our skirt date-Yknow its truefrienship when she scolds you cause shes worried for you, she write long texts cause she treasures you, shes willing tosit and listen to you rant, shes willing to put up with your nonsense 24/7 ,shes pushing you to do yourbest ,she gives you encouragement,she tells you the most truthful thing you dont want to hear because she wants you to know that reality is harsh that you should be strong so if one day shes not there you can stand up for yourself,last but not least when shes willing to follow you to go to the canteen just because yourstomach is growling from no breakfast and class just started 😚,im so grateful for you lavena ‘ View Larger

18.05.14
‘-our skirt date-Yknow its truefrienship when she scolds you cause shes worried for you, she write long texts cause she treasures you, shes willing tosit and listen to you rant, shes willing to put up with your nonsense 24/7 ,shes pushing you to do yourbest ,she gives you encouragement,she tells you the most truthful thing you dont want to hear because she wants you to know that reality is harsh that you should be strong so if one day shes not there you can stand up for yourself,last but not least when shes willing to follow you to go to the canteen just because yourstomach is growling from no breakfast and class just started 😚,im so grateful for you lavena ‘


the journey
okay so here it goes i wanted to write this post in malay but i couldnot capture the right words. right now im at the peak of my life in happiness im contented and grateful for everything and everyone that i have right now.
i realise im a person in life where im a middle person friend most frequently like my friend could talk about the other one but yet i would still feel neutral for both sides. 
Because no matter what i go through i know that people are worried that i will be taken advantage of. Cause of my belief in life that is everyone has their bad side and good side no matter how bad someone is ,theres always a good side. Im so pure in this thinking that i have been scolded alot of times to wake up to reality which is that belief of mine simply dont exist. however my instinct is still strong and you know what they say naluri seseorang wanita  90 peratusnya selalu benar.

  currently my two close friends in poly are so afraid for me because im too easily taken advantage  and i dont stand for myself at times. 
yeah i really need that reality lesson. sigh.
but cmon havent you ever felt that the world was actually a perfect painted place?why must it change so much ?
but still im very grateful for every friendship that are still with me till now. though my heart still feels abit hollow now and then due to some missing persons in my life im thankful i have my mum and my family lastly my one and only love to back me up by my side. yes min. the one that has been my strength though i have no idea why he still come and search for me no matter how many times i have hurt him. He still loves me and im really touched by that fact every single day. I still have times in my life where i just stand there and think and wonder how could a guy so handsome with such great personality be attracted to someone like me . its still hard to believe. haha 
hes gonna start scolding me if he saw this but thats what i love so much about him all those little flaws and imperfections all those small little things he does . i fall in love with him every single day , alhamdulillah ya ALLAH kalau inilah cinta sejati hanya kamu sahaja lah yang tahu. 

"hold me close to you ,i dont want any other i want you." View Larger

the journey

okay so here it goes i wanted to write this post in malay but i couldnot capture the right words. right now im at the peak of my life in happiness im contented and grateful for everything and everyone that i have right now.

i realise im a person in life where im a middle person friend most frequently like my friend could talk about the other one but yet i would still feel neutral for both sides. 

Because no matter what i go through i know that people are worried that i will be taken advantage of. Cause of my belief in life that is everyone has their bad side and good side no matter how bad someone is ,theres always a good side. Im so pure in this thinking that i have been scolded alot of times to wake up to reality which is that belief of mine simply dont exist. however my instinct is still strong and you know what they say naluri seseorang wanita  90 peratusnya selalu benar.

  currently my two close friends in poly are so afraid for me because im too easily taken advantage  and i dont stand for myself at times. 

yeah i really need that reality lesson. sigh.

but cmon havent you ever felt that the world was actually a perfect painted place?why must it change so much ?

but still im very grateful for every friendship that are still with me till now. though my heart still feels abit hollow now and then due to some missing persons in my life im thankful i have my mum and my family lastly my one and only love to back me up by my side. yes min. the one that has been my strength though i have no idea why he still come and search for me no matter how many times i have hurt him. He still loves me and im really touched by that fact every single day. I still have times in my life where i just stand there and think and wonder how could a guy so handsome with such great personality be attracted to someone like me . its still hard to believe. haha 

hes gonna start scolding me if he saw this but thats what i love so much about him all those little flaws and imperfections all those small little things he does . i fall in love with him every single day , alhamdulillah ya ALLAH kalau inilah cinta sejati hanya kamu sahaja lah yang tahu. 

"hold me close to you ,i dont want any other i want you."


04.05.14
‘Beatiful girl has turn 18 already.👩 Thankyou for inviting us to your bbq 🍝🍝🍛🍛 and we hope that you like your pressie as well as our presence hehe 😁😝. Thankyou for being one of the best-friends i could have from kindergarten until now.😘note that we will always be here for you. ‘ View Larger

04.05.14
‘Beatiful girl has turn 18 already.👩 Thankyou for inviting us to your bbq 🍝🍝🍛🍛 and we hope that you like your pressie as well as our presence hehe 😁😝. Thankyou for being one of the best-friends i could have from kindergarten until now.😘note that we will always be here for you. ‘